I Got Hard - Ryan Carter

At the nursing home I’m horny

It’s date night and I’m flirty

See that lady, let’s get dirty

She was 60, I was 30

I got hard!

I fucked round and got hard

A gaggle of the old broads left the church

Purses packed, wet Depends, I must assert

Got ya back, don’t need no cane, I carry her

Grab my balls, squeeze the shaft, I bend the curb

I drive her car, really old Model T on the side streets

Lookin like Hoke Colburn with Miss Daisy

Old ladies is cool, believe me

Over 60, I have to watch em

The older they are, the more it teaches, past menopause don’t need no condoms

Her husband is dead, no need to kill

City morgue got his corpse on a chill

The lady chose me cuz I’m young and lean

Making bloomers drop down is my new routine

Help! I’ve fallen and can’t get up!

Oh shit, I forgot her LifeAlert!

At the nursing home I’m horny

It’s date night and I’m flirty

See that lady, let’s get dirty

She was 60, I was 30

I got hard!

I fucked round and got hard

I’m at the home spitting game to Miss Minnie Pearle

In the hospital bed I rocked her world

Her body covered in AD, Mentholatum, and BenGay

I count the bed sores then I cover with band-aids

She’s in and out of consiousness, a daily malaise

Boobs sagged, hip bad, and she smell like decay

Morphine she shooting, knocked out, I’m lootin

Wendy Williams an addict, now «How you doin?»

Singing Babalú and watching Lucy foolin'

We play strip poker, and she start to losin'

No junk in her trunk, wrinkled skin hangs loosely

Colostomy bag tore, I gagged profusely

Estate account holds a million bucks

You see me, I’m cleaning shit, so I make the cut

I look at her will and I yelled out «oh no!»

I’m listed as «HELP», I don’t get no cash flow

At the nursing home I’m horny

It’s date night and I’m flirty

See that lady, let’s get dirty

She was 60, I was 30

I got hard!

I fucked round and got hard

It’s a geriatric home, who dame the bestest?

Who is the meanest? Who convalescent?

You that’s who! That’s why the Granny chose me!

You keep the thots, I prefer antique’s

Primo, Poligrip, life insurance guaranteed

Look like she 95, she’s a 117

I’m Ryan Carter, you should know by now yo

Born in Detroit, 1−9-9−1 homie

Werther’s and lollipops

Licorice and butterscotch

Got a plate of warm cookies, tall glass of milk

I’m munching and I’m eating, take breaks to sip

God knows Imma end up in Hell

First of the month, Social Security check is in her mail

I’m living off her money, deadbeat, villain

No flatline today, she good, still living

At the nursing home I’m horny

It’s date night and I’m flirty

See that lady, let’s get dirty

She was 60, I was 30

I got hard!

I fucked round and got hard

At the nursing home I’m horny

It’s date night and I’m flirty

See that lady, let’s get dirty

She was 60, I was 30

I got hard!

I fucked round and got hard